What Did I Just Hear?

Marrying Alex so young obviously meant I would be questioned, teased, and put down. Especially after only dating for less than a year when he decided to propose. What I didn't know is that I would lose friendships I thought I would have for a long time but also gain new amazing ones that I will have for a lifetime. I didn't know certain family members would judge and cut all ties, but I also didn't expect extreme support from other members. I didn't know certain friends and family wouldn't show up at our wedding just because of rumors. I didn't know a lot of things would or wouldn't happen just by saying "I do" to a man I love more than life itself.

I want to open up more perspectives and possibilities to other young couples who are planning on getting married... But I also want to show people how hurtful and mean their words can be. Just because people are curious or even concerned, does not mean they are entitled to spread rumors or bring others down.

Let's start with the person who inspired me to write this post. One of my professors I have this semester. She asked the class innocently if anyone was married. I raised my hand. I was the only one who raised my hand. She then proceeded to point me out during the class period using me as an example of having my own family. At the end of the class she told everyone they would be "foolish" to get married during college years. That is wasn't a great decision. She was slamming me in front of everyone. I was so mad and hurt, but I hate confrontation so I ignored it. I had four girls in the same class come up to me and tell me I needed to say something. I couldn't. Alex and my mom told me I needed to e-mail her. So I did. I told her how hurt I was and how she was offending me and telling the other class members my decision was wrong. She e-mailed me back saying she didn't intend for it to come out that way. Well it did. And it hurt.

I can't even begin to tell you the questions we were asked when we announced we were getting married. Not even just the questions, but some of the comments as well were really rude. Ready for it? Some are typical questions, but others are more towards the crazy scale if you know what I mean... Here are a few, and YES, I am going to answer them.

Are you sure you can handle being married so young? This question is probably a "typical, whatever" question. I found this question really amusing. Can older couples even really "handle" married life? Obviously God had a will. If He wanted me and Alex married while we are in our early adult years, then He knew we could "handle" married life. God won't give someone more than they can handle without His strength and hand through it all.

Are you pregnant? This question was my favorite. Why? Because even though I repeatedly said no (which I should not have needed to even answer that question) people still had it in their minds that I would be popping out a little baby. Alex and I remained virgins until we were married. I know that is hard to believe and all because you know, young + majorly in love + always together... Well let me tell you something girls, if you believe in waiting until marriage to have sex and if he doesn't respect you enough to wait, ditch that boy or you need to seriously evaluate the relationship. Alex respected me and pushed me to meet my goals in life. How am I going to finish college on my scholarship if I'm stressed out with a baby on my hip while working a part time job? Not even that but we want to explore the world together. And that would be more difficult with extra expenses from having a baby so soon.  I'm not judging those who got pregnant before they were married, or even had sex before they were married. Some of my best friends had a baby before marriage, or have different beliefs on waiting for sex until marriage. 

What if you don't like living with him? Well let's see... there are going to be arguments, there are going to be habits he has that bothers me, there are going to be daily routine manners that he has that will bother me...So? I lived in a family of 6 for 10 years. (That's when the youngest was born)... My sisters got on my nerves occasionally, I thought my brother's toots and burps were gross, I fought with my parents sometimes like every normal teenager... I'm pretty sure my best friend, soul mate, and husband would bother me at times. And guess what? He does. I bother him too! Sometimes I talk too stinkin' much! And sometimes he irritates me because he hangs up his towels different than how I was raised or does the dishes a little differently. SO WHAT. I still love him to death and wouldn't trade being with him for the world.

I don't think they'll last. This one actually did hurt my feelings. Some people assumed we wouldn't last because "I went from guy to guy". I even had a few people tell me we wouldn't last because half our dating relationship was long distance. No one understood my past, and no one was going to understand my present and future. That's one reason I have so much love and trust in Alex. He knows. He understands.

I wish I could portray the disgust, looks, and tones I received along with these questions and comments. But I can't. All I can tell you is God had a plan for me and Alex. He knew what we needed, when we needed it, and why we needed it. I have never had so much love for a person as Alex. And quite frankly I have never trusted a person as much as Alex. So if you are going to say something mean, 1) do it to my face. That way I can help you understand in person. 2) maybe just don't say it?

I hope you young couples who are getting married have created a way to block out the negativity. I didn't have a way to block it out. I'm super emotional and can't handle much. But God knows that. That's why He gave me Alex when He did.

I also hope you "meanies" learn to "shut your pie hole" as my daddy says. I won't be letting any more comments hurt me. I am very blessed to have Alex, and we aren't always promised tomorrow. I will be enjoying my time with him while I have it.

Thanks and many blessings,
The Wife