Put Down the Glass, Selfish

We have all noticed that this upcoming generation is obsessed with the drinking scene: parties, GNO, date night, basically anywhere we go there is alcohol offered. The first thing you hear these days at sit down restaurants from your waiter is, "Could I start you off with a cocktail?" However, I am here to talk about one specific, serious problem: pregnant women drinking.

Did you know, if you don't consume any alcohol while pregnant, your baby can't have any health problems caused by alcohol? Wow, shocking!

If you drink while pregnant you are increasing your baby's chances of having:

• premature birth
• FASDs (fetal alcohol spectrum disorders)
• defects: hearing, vision, heart, etc
• LBW (low birth weight)
• growth and brain development damage
• stillbirth
• miscarriage

How it reaches your baby:

The alcohol in your blood reaches the baby through the placenta. The baby is still growing and cannot process alcohol because his liver isn't fully developed. (Side note: you should not be drinking while breast feeding either.)

Some statistics:

• 1 in 100 babies have FASD. 
• Approximately 40,000 newborns each year are affected by FASDs
• 18% of pregnant women drink during early pregnancy 
• 10% of women drink during the whole pregnancy
• more than 60% of doctors have a zero tolerance policy 

As a mother (whether planned or not) you are now responsible for a human being. God is trusting you to take care of your child (Yes! Even while pregnant!) and drinking alcohol is not being a responsible mother.

I am writing this from my dear heart. I had a friend who drank while she was pregnant and her children developed slowly and I'm afraid there will be more problems in the children's futures. I don't want to be silent anymore... I should've been a better friend and told her the honest truth. Just because your doctor tells you a drink every week or so is okay for the baby, doesn't mean it's worth risking that chance.

Honestly in this situation, as a Christian, what would God want you to do? I know I'm so thankful my mom never drank while pregnant with me and my siblings. If she did, I could've had learning development problems. Heck, I could've died in reality.

I don't write this to offend, judge, or upset. I write this with the intent of raising awareness to this generation's young moms-to-be. Are you so selfish that you can't put down the glass for a couple of years while pregnant and breast-feeding?

God Bless and Thank you,

your hopelessly devoted Christian wife. 

Faith Alone

What does it mean to be a Christian? Or rather, what does it mean to believe in faith alone? First, I believe it is necessary to define who a Christian is. Acts 11:26 states, “And it came to pass, that a whole year they assembled themselves with the church, and taught much people. And the disciples were called Christians first in Antioch.” The disciples were first called Christians at Antioch. Notice that they did not name themselves, but rather the people of Antioch named them. The Greek word Christianos means “follower of Christ.” There are many religions and people who claim to be a Christian because they follow Christ. I believe this needs a closer look.
What made the apostles different? What separated them from other people, faiths, and religions? What made other people call them Christian? I believe it was their faith. That is where each Christian begins his or her walk with Christ. By faith, fully accepting Christ as Savior.
My first argument for a person being a Christian by faith alone is found through Paul the apostle. Actually, I will allow Paul’s own words to support my argument. Philippians 3:3-9 states,

“3 For we are the circumcision, which worship God in the spirit, and rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh. 4 Though I might also have confidence in the flesh. If any other man thinketh that he hath whereof he might trust in the flesh, I more: 5 Circumcised the eighth day, of the stock of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, an Hebrew of the Hebrews; as touching the law, a Pharisee; 6 Concerning zeal, persecuting the church; touching the righteousness which is in the law, blameless. 7 But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. 8 Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, 9 And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith.”

I marked sections in bold that I wish to touch on. “We” are all believers in Christ, or Christians. Christians also “have no confidence in the flesh.” The flesh and the human’s sinful nature cannot be trusted or relied on. “I more.” Paul, born and raised into Hebrew customs and traditions, followed all the Law and “touching the righteousness which is in the law, blameless.” There are many religions that have a set of laws, rules, procedures, etc. that are to be followed. While these religions may incorporate faith, their “law”, if obeyed, will allow access to God after death. Paul recognized that any “righteousness” he earned by keeping the Law was not enough, and only through the righteousness attained in Christ could he attain true righteousness. He states, “Not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith.” I put in bold “by faith” because that is essential to what Paul is saying. The only worthy and righteous thing in life is through faith in Christ Jesus. This is where Paul bases his beliefs and places his trust: faith in Christ.
My second argument for faith alone, not works or any other means, necessary for being a Christian is found in Luke 23. This passage of scripture states,

“32 And there were also two other, malefactors, led with him to be put to death. 33 And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand, and the other on the left. 39 And one of the malefactors which were hanged railed on him, saying, If thou be Christ, save thyself and us. 40 But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation? 41 And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss. 42 And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom. 43 And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise.”

Both of these men on the cross had disobeyed the law and were now receiving their sentence. One mocked and rejected Christ. The other recognized his sin and asked Christ if He would remember him when He reached His kingdom. I think anyone would agree that this criminal had a great deal of faith. Faith to believe Jesus was who He said He was. Faith in His teachings. Faith that he could be saved through this God-man Jesus Christ. Notice how he did not make a list to Christ showing all the good things he did in life, or how he kept the Sabbath day holy, or how many customs he practiced. He merely asked that Christ would remember him. That was enough for Jesus. This man’s faith in Christ was sufficient enough.
There is only one “problem” with all of this. How did the people of Antioch see the apostles’ faith? They had to notice something about them, something different other than simply what they preached. I believe the clear answer to this is by their works. “But wait a second! I thought you were saying that a Christian is a Christian because of faith?!” Yes, that is correct. However, naturally a Christian should have that desire to produce good works after accepting Christ as his or her Savior. Matthew 5 speaks about a Christian being the salt of the world. A Christian does not attain this “salt” by simply having their faith in Christ, but by displaying it in good works. The book of James is a perfect example of this. James states that “faith without works is dead.” James is not saying that you need good works to go to heaven. Actually, this book is written to Christians. Remember, as previously established, a Christian is someone who by faith accepts Christ as Savior, as can be seen in Paul’s personal testimony and the story of the criminal on the cross. What James is saying has nothing to do with attaining salvation or becoming a Christian. Instead, this book provides excellent instruction for the Christian on keeping their faith alive and true to bring others to Christ. That is how the people of Antioch were able to mark the apostles as followers of Christ: because of their outward demonstration of their faith by producing good works. The testimony of Paul and the instruction from James compliment each other perfectly.
This blog has shown two things. First, a person becomes a Christian by accepting Christ as His Savior, thereby putting on His righteousness, by faith alone. This is evidenced through Paul’s personal testimony and the historical story of the thief on the cross. Second, this blog has shown how good works is an outward demonstration of a Christians’s faith, not a means to attaining eternity with Christ.
Thank you everyone who has taken the time to read through this blog! I very much look forward to compliments and discussion on your thoughts and opinions! As God said in Isaiah: “Come now, let us reason together. I look forward to hearing feedback from each reader, and I hope that this blog has had a positive influence on your life!

God Bless,

Alex

Reasons To Be Choosy With Your Friends

A lot of people don't realize the importance of picking and choosing their friends carefully. Those people become friends with everyone and anyone with full trust in the beginning. Let me tell you why you should make your friends earn your trust, rather than allow them to lose your trust from the start. 

For the past year and a half to two years I have been having real issues with my "best friend." She and I grew up together since birth (minus the years we lived in different states). But recently, she's been showing me how full of hate she is. Isn't that a horrible feeling? Finding out your supposedly closest friend is telling others secrets about you? Lying to you constantly about their life? Cancelling plans on you 9 out of 10 times? 

Well this feeling is much worse than that. I'm actually being harassed and verbally abused. She completely did a 180 on me. I understood everything she was going through, especially considering I was going through similar issues. She acted like she didn't want to be friends at all. She was like my sister, y'all. So, you know what I did?

I CARED. 

Yeah, I cared. I offered to help her and her family out. I offered to bring her stuff when she was sick. I actually went to bring her stuff one day and found out she was lying. I kept making plans with her even though she kept cancelling and didn't have time for me. I prayed for her a lot too. I felt so bad for her that I couldn't give up on her. Well guess what? She recently started verbally abusing me. You think I'm exaggerating? Verbal abuse is defined as "a negative defining statement told to the victim or about the victim, or by withholding any response, thereby defining the target as non-existent." I forgave her for it whether or not she believes me. So why am I sharing this on my blog? 

Because,

God takes people out of our lives for a reason. Some friendships are toxic, but we want to keep those friends close to us because we grew up with them. We trusted them above anyone else. We love them for who they were, not what they are becoming. I want to encourage all of y'all to really pray and see if your friendships are honoring to God, if your relationships are healthy. If your relationships are tearing you down, you CAN walk away. The pain of ending a friendship, is the gain of success in your life.

Thank you to all of my family and true friends. Your honesty doesn't go unnoticed.
xoxo
-The Wife

My Enemy

Let me introduce you to my worst enemy - GAD. What is GAD you may ask? Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I'm going to give you readers a brief rundown with a FEW statistics. I will not shove down so many medical terms and facts down your throat that will make you stop reading. Before I begin, I would like to share my purpose for sharing this post with you. I am so sick of being judged, misunderstood, and tortured. But most importantly, I know some of you are feeling the same way. Before you hit that little "x" in the corner of your browser, just know I am going to be so real and honest in this post. I am not here to bore you, but to inform you with what we GAD diagnosed "freaks" are dealing with.

What is it medically? 
According to WebMD - " Generalized anxiety disorder (or GAD) is characterized by excessive, exaggerated anxiety and worry about everyday life events with no obvious reasons for worry. People with symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder tend to always expect disaster and can't stop worrying about health, money, family, work, or school. In people with GAD, the worry is often unrealistic or out of proportion for the situation. Daily life becomes a constant state of worry, fear, and dread. Eventually, the anxiety so dominates the person's thinking that it interferes with daily functioning, including work, school, social activities, and relationships."

What is it personally? 
According to personal experience - It is hell on Earth. I don't have a normal eating pattern. I can't sleep worth a darn; and when I do, I wake up constantly or it's weird hours of the day. I can't make plans with "friends." Heck, I don't even know how to do the whole small talk thing. I struggle every day in class with those nice girls. I can't eat in front of people I barely know even if they're all eating. I can't go a day without feeling hopeless and down.

What does it look like? 
I want you all to watch this video (I can't show you, so this will help with understanding what I am about to talk about) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpRo1Gb1FOg
Having an anxiety disorder is scary. There are moments where I scream like crazy because I feel trapped in myself. It's when I cry in the bed for hours with no explanation. I cancel all plans for the WEEK other than daily responsibilities because I am SO SCARED of leaving the house. I can't tell you all how many times my AMAZING husband has taken me for a drive so I can sing my lungs out while literally sobbing.

It hurts. My brain doesn't provide the chemicals I need to handle every day. I know people who are suffering. If you are suffering you need to get help.

My Personal Experience: 
I have had anxiety disorder since I was four. My parents, the doctors, teachers, even I didn't realize it. I started having really bad stomach pains and major emotional breakdowns when I hit fourteen. The doctors did so many tests on me, my teachers prayed for me, and my parents kept trying to figure out what was wrong. Finally, when I was eighteen we all figured it out - anxiety disorder. Not anxiety, but actual GAD.
I'm a confusing basket case. My sweet husband has taken the time to understand, which first of all, has made this journey so much easier on me. He doesn't judge nor does he hate. He listens and loves (I encourage all of you to take the time to know all you can about GAD like my family and husband).

At first I was uncontrollable. I would harm myself and not even realize it - example: I didn't eat but once a day because I was so sad and confused I completely forgot to eat. I yelled at anyone who told me what to do. I hid in my bed and missed a lot of work because of how sad I was. I missed a lot of classes because I couldn't handle people making fun of me for having anxiety disorders. I stopped hanging out with friends because it took too much effort to go out. I stopped having a passion for photography, and I had no care about goals or anything in life. I would get so mad at the people around me for no reason, and they would have to deal with how I treated them. IT SUCKED. IT WAS AWFUL. IT WAS LITERALLY HELL.

How I'm Overcoming GAD:
I am so sick and fed up with people saying, "I can't help it." YES, YOU CAN. I was seeing a Christian counselor at first. She was nice, but not as experienced as I had hoped for. I stopped seeing her because she was trying to get me to read the Bible to fix it basically. (I'm a Christian, but I believe it was more than a spiritual problem; it is a medical problem.) I then started to see a nice, experienced doctor. He was a good counselor; however, he just wanted to talk through the problems. I did that for about three months. Talking wasn't enough. I went to see a family physician. SHE IS A GIFT SENT FROM GOD. She put me on a medicine that has helped me tremendously! And readers, medicine can't make you perfect. You do not want to be a robot. I still have my bad days. But I AM MAKING PROGRESS. And just that shows me God cares. Having GAD doesn't make you a freak. You just need to figure out how to help yourself.

Blessings,
The Wife.

***If you have any questions please contact me. If you are considering suicide please contact your local doctor/hospital immediately.***

What Did I Just Hear?

Marrying Alex so young obviously meant I would be questioned, teased, and put down. Especially after only dating for less than a year when he decided to propose. What I didn't know is that I would lose friendships I thought I would have for a long time but also gain new amazing ones that I will have for a lifetime. I didn't know certain family members would judge and cut all ties, but I also didn't expect extreme support from other members. I didn't know certain friends and family wouldn't show up at our wedding just because of rumors. I didn't know a lot of things would or wouldn't happen just by saying "I do" to a man I love more than life itself.

I want to open up more perspectives and possibilities to other young couples who are planning on getting married... But I also want to show people how hurtful and mean their words can be. Just because people are curious or even concerned, does not mean they are entitled to spread rumors or bring others down.

Let's start with the person who inspired me to write this post. One of my professors I have this semester. She asked the class innocently if anyone was married. I raised my hand. I was the only one who raised my hand. She then proceeded to point me out during the class period using me as an example of having my own family. At the end of the class she told everyone they would be "foolish" to get married during college years. That is wasn't a great decision. She was slamming me in front of everyone. I was so mad and hurt, but I hate confrontation so I ignored it. I had four girls in the same class come up to me and tell me I needed to say something. I couldn't. Alex and my mom told me I needed to e-mail her. So I did. I told her how hurt I was and how she was offending me and telling the other class members my decision was wrong. She e-mailed me back saying she didn't intend for it to come out that way. Well it did. And it hurt.

I can't even begin to tell you the questions we were asked when we announced we were getting married. Not even just the questions, but some of the comments as well were really rude. Ready for it? Some are typical questions, but others are more towards the crazy scale if you know what I mean... Here are a few, and YES, I am going to answer them.

Are you sure you can handle being married so young? This question is probably a "typical, whatever" question. I found this question really amusing. Can older couples even really "handle" married life? Obviously God had a will. If He wanted me and Alex married while we are in our early adult years, then He knew we could "handle" married life. God won't give someone more than they can handle without His strength and hand through it all.

Are you pregnant? This question was my favorite. Why? Because even though I repeatedly said no (which I should not have needed to even answer that question) people still had it in their minds that I would be popping out a little baby. Alex and I remained virgins until we were married. I know that is hard to believe and all because you know, young + majorly in love + always together... Well let me tell you something girls, if you believe in waiting until marriage to have sex and if he doesn't respect you enough to wait, ditch that boy or you need to seriously evaluate the relationship. Alex respected me and pushed me to meet my goals in life. How am I going to finish college on my scholarship if I'm stressed out with a baby on my hip while working a part time job? Not even that but we want to explore the world together. And that would be more difficult with extra expenses from having a baby so soon.  I'm not judging those who got pregnant before they were married, or even had sex before they were married. Some of my best friends had a baby before marriage, or have different beliefs on waiting for sex until marriage. 

What if you don't like living with him? Well let's see... there are going to be arguments, there are going to be habits he has that bothers me, there are going to be daily routine manners that he has that will bother me...So? I lived in a family of 6 for 10 years. (That's when the youngest was born)... My sisters got on my nerves occasionally, I thought my brother's toots and burps were gross, I fought with my parents sometimes like every normal teenager... I'm pretty sure my best friend, soul mate, and husband would bother me at times. And guess what? He does. I bother him too! Sometimes I talk too stinkin' much! And sometimes he irritates me because he hangs up his towels different than how I was raised or does the dishes a little differently. SO WHAT. I still love him to death and wouldn't trade being with him for the world.

I don't think they'll last. This one actually did hurt my feelings. Some people assumed we wouldn't last because "I went from guy to guy". I even had a few people tell me we wouldn't last because half our dating relationship was long distance. No one understood my past, and no one was going to understand my present and future. That's one reason I have so much love and trust in Alex. He knows. He understands.

I wish I could portray the disgust, looks, and tones I received along with these questions and comments. But I can't. All I can tell you is God had a plan for me and Alex. He knew what we needed, when we needed it, and why we needed it. I have never had so much love for a person as Alex. And quite frankly I have never trusted a person as much as Alex. So if you are going to say something mean, 1) do it to my face. That way I can help you understand in person. 2) maybe just don't say it?

I hope you young couples who are getting married have created a way to block out the negativity. I didn't have a way to block it out. I'm super emotional and can't handle much. But God knows that. That's why He gave me Alex when He did.

I also hope you "meanies" learn to "shut your pie hole" as my daddy says. I won't be letting any more comments hurt me. I am very blessed to have Alex, and we aren't always promised tomorrow. I will be enjoying my time with him while I have it.

Thanks and many blessings,
The Wife

Hello friends!!!  

This past week was so crazy busy for the married couple! With finals coming up I have barely anytime for free time! However, Al and I did devote today to getting stuff done! Including our garden!!! Check it out!

This right here is Alex's creativity showing! I love how he labeled this section ;)

This is our carrot lot we just planted today! Took a bit but will be worth it!!!

These are my baby onions! Aren't they so cute? We planted THREE different types of onions (white, red, and yellow)! We planted them two weeks ago and they're already growing!

We are so excited about our garden! We will be planting green beans, cucumber, and tons more including flowers! It will be so nice to be eating fresh, organic veggies and fruits! A lot healthier and more trustworthy! (Ya never know what you buy in the stores.)

 Alex and I will be posting again soon! So be on the lookout!



Happy Easter!!

Hello dear readers!

It has been quite awhile since I have been able to write a post! With Alex being sick, work, and classes, I have been a busy, busy bee! We wanted to update you all on our journey!

Let's just say this whole healthy lifestyle has been helping a ton!!! We have been eating better but also less! A few delicious recipes for some meal ideas:

1. Lemon Pepper Chicken with Veggies:
A chicken breast per person - heat up some butter in the frying pan first (I personally think the more butter the tender the chicken tastes), sprinkle lemon pepper seasoning on both sides of the chicken while heating in a pan on medium high.
When the chicken is fully cooked I pour in some veggies (my faves are carrots and corn, but Al loves peas and broccoli) so that they cook in the butter and I season them however I'm in the mood for! And the best part about this is you can eat as many veggies as you want until you're full!

2. Sausage and rice
The awesome part about this is the healthy alternatives add so much flavor!!
We boil brown rice and add zuchini (I don't like zuchini as much, but Alex LOVES it)... I add onions sometimes.. But you can also leave it plain.
The sausage alternative... Honestly, Alex and I love beef so much. However, supposedly Italian sausage is supposed to be less "junky" so that is what we went with (I honestly do not know the difference in health, but I will be researching it this week). We cooked up several Italian sauseges in oil (or butter sometimes) and served it with the rice. This is also another meal you could add the veggies to.

3. Turkey Burgers
Alex and I are such big burger fans! Everytime we go out to eat he picks a burger (however we did choose healthier chicken and fish alternatives this most recent date). Might I note, I HATED beef SOOOO much before I dated him! He had me try burgers a lot, and he had me hooked!
This recipe is such a good alternative!
You need 1 lb ground turkey, a handful of diced onions, some parsley (fresh is best, but the seasoning is pretty good too), and a tiny bit of green onion. Mix them all together, roll into patty shapes, and then cook the way you would like! They are so yummy! We don't even use buns for them! They're really good served with brown rice or whole wheat pasta! Mmmmm!

So those are three meals we have tried. We have been getting more into shape as well. With Alex having the flu last week, he lost some weight (poor fella). But this weekend, when he felt better we started going out more! Which reminds me to tell you about my most recent addiction.

It's true.. I am addicted to icecream... And this is bad. VERY VERY BAD. Icecream means more sugar. More sugar means more anxiety. More anxiety means more depression. More depression means starting from the beginning..AGAIN. Ever since we stopped by that icecream place in Madison Heights called "Sweet Spot" I have had problems with this icecream addiction. We decided "hey, you're doing a whole lot better with sugar, you deserve a treat." Which means I got the snow cream. I won't lie in my blog. I am going to be so honest so you guys can understand my sugar problem. I had three snowcreams in one week. ONE WEEK. Poor Alex had to deal with my anxiety. I had no self control. At all. So finally, we decided it was a horrible mistake and limited myself to one icecream a week. We stopped going to Sweet Spot because it was just too unhealthy. So I thought "why not try dairy queen and see if they have a healthier alternative.." Yeah, that was stupid on my part. I ended up getting a chocolate iceream in a chocolate covered waffle cone. However, my anxiety wasn't too bad after that one. I had two of those. Granted, I did share all of these with Al, so it wasn't as much sugar as it could have been. Finally I was sick of the sugar. So we tried Sweet Frog! Such a great alternative if you get the right toppings! It's frozen yogurt not icecream! So now we go there once a week. And let me tell you, I have had way less anxiety this week!

Today we decided to go on a nice Sunday Easter stroll to balance all the food we ate. For any of you who know my mom, she loves to cook. We wanted to have a nice afternoon to ourselves for some downtime before this crazy week gets us too busy and preoccupied, so we went downtown. Alex suggested I take the camera with us so I can start getting into my photography again so I did. We really had a great time! Here's some pictures that we got!

 

Honestly, this one is my favorite. For anyone who knows me, they know my creativity. When I saw this it reminded me of the crazy junk all around us and the happiness we aim for. The shell being my ocean vacation Alex is taking me on this summer. The plants being that burst of happiness that springs up randomly. And the leaves being the old hard times we go through. Yeah some people love my thoughts, others not really. Do I care? No. I just LOVE looking at life in a different perspective.

This picture took me quite a while to capture, and it still didn't come out the way I wanted. The bee kept moving from flower to flower, and it was so heavy it was weighing down the flowers, so I couldn't quite get it in the frame. I did really like these bright flowers. The bee is hanging near the bottom flowers in case you can't find it.

I love the simplicity of the yellow flowers against the green grass. So soothing.

And last but not least, Al's favorite. We spent a good 10 minutes with this deer. There were four total. They were so calm and peaceful. I wonder how they could go from calmingly, grazing in a meadow, to anxiously running away from "predators." God's creation is so amazing.

So here was a little (or should I say long?) update on us! We have more journey updates coming soon! Those will be including our devotions and gardening ideas! And hopefully a better blog layout! Thanks so much for supporting us!